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Best-of EasyExpat.com 2015: the worst emails received

18 December, 2015 10:41  EasyExpat EasyExpat

Just before Christmas, and to finish this year, we are publishing for the 6th year the EasyExpat Best-of list for the funniest or most bizarre emails we have received in 2015.

We remind you that EasyExpat is a list of city guides for expatriates, host a public forum for the community and free services such as job listing, classifieds, general articles on expatriation (FAQ), directory of expat websites. Apparently some Internet users did not understand it!

Enjoy.

You will understand that the goal is not to mock but just to relax and take it easy during the festive season.

Of course, spelling mistakes were not corrected but names and personal details have been replaced by XXX, or deleted. The text published is the only and full message received.

If you want to pursue this moment of relaxation and humour, please see our previous best-of:

Worst emails in English

Hello,
We are a french travel agency XXX Tour.
We are coming to Dublin in March for the 6 Nation Tournament – Rugby game Ireland France and we need apartments for our Staff.
2 apartments with 3 bedroom
From the 11th to 15th February 2015
We would like the apartment in the same place and in the city center.
Do you have availability?
If yes can i have a quote please?
Do you make commission for travel agency?
Waiting your return,
Best regards,
XXX

Hello,

My name is XXX, I have some furniture consisting of(1 Console and
1 Spinet Pianos) that I need to be delivered back to the country from U.K

Please indicate the closest airport to you? I only need you to pickup my items at the airport,store it for 3 months in your storage facility and if you don't have a storage facility you can deliver it direct to my Apartment in the country, Which weighs 760 Kg and the number of shipping case is two.The Dimensions: W-"45 x "H-48 x L-55" and after the 3 months storage you will have it delivered to my home address in the Country which will be given to you in my next email. NOTE... That My Method Of Payment Will Be Through:- Credit Card Please Indicate if you do accept Credit Card?: Do get back to me with your cost for moving and your other outstanding charges that will be required for this services,so that I can go ahead and make payment as soon as possible if you are able to move the items.

Once i hear back from you i will email you the packing list and i need to know the closet Airport to you so that i can contact the origin shipping company warehousing that is with the items in UK for further arrangements.

Regards,
XXX

Im looking for kids of the age of 12 to hace a plyaydates with my daugther. Anyone has a daugther of that age.?

I wouldm like to do volonteere work in the hajj time with pelgrems. please contact me. Incha Allah very soon

 I BOUGHT A POSTAL ORDER  TO PAY FOR SOMETHING, IT WAS RETURNED TO ME SAYING THERE WAS NO CHARGE. HOW CAN I GET REFUND PLEASE, AS ITS MADE OUT TO THE 3RD PARTY???

 Am XXX and a Malawian, please how can i get an invitational letter to visit Ireland.  Hope to hear from u soon

Inquiry
Dear we are XXX Co.llc (PTC) based in Qatar,We are in need of your products, Urgently.  The attachment is the  complete catalog of what we are looking from your company, We await for your response soonest.
Best regards,
Mr XXX
Purchase Manager

I am XXX.  I am attended to take part in Karlovy vary Festival in Prague in  2 July.  I  have a 10 mounts baby and I am looking for a place to babysitting during the time of Festival for 9 days. (each day about 8 hours)
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Dear lady/sir,

Hope this email finds you well.

Please note that I checked your website and found that you provide chauffeur and vehicle services on Beijing for short time periods.

I would like to know if you could provide services for a short time period of three days (from June 22nd to June 24th), including airport pick up and drop off, for business purposes (not touristic trips) and, if so, would like to discuss the terms and prices of the services.

Furthermore, please note that would be very important that the appointed driver could speak English.

Look forward to hearing from you,

Kind regards,

kindly know that i am interesting to register my two kids ( girl now in grade
7 and a boy now in grade 4 ) in your school for the next academic year
2015/2016 We are living in dubai,United arab emirates and planing to arrive
to Tbilisi on 1st august 2015.

Subject: Your office location in benin republic
Message: Would want to make a physical appearance for my enquires.

Greetings to you in the sweetest name of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.I have visited your ministry website just now and happy after reading about your ministry.We believe that God is using your ministry to proclaim his love. First of all i would like to introduce myself, i pastor Jeevan Babu from India. We are doing ministry in the state of Andhra Pradesh.

Hello,

Greetings from XXX Technologies!!

XXX is a IT Staffing & Outsourcing company with its base in India.

Our client in Germany has shortlisted few of our contractors to be deployed at their location.

As we do not have our presence in Germany, we would like to take your umbrella services for Work Permit and Payrolling for our contractors.

Please let us know the possibility, procedure and your quotation for the above said services.

Regards

Attn: Supplier

Compliments of the day to you, my company has asked me to make inquiries into the purchase of your company’s product listed on your web-site, We have reviewed your advertised merchandise, We are an independent buying house based in France and we would like to get a quotation on your products, we require your fairest prices, direct mobile number,Skype ID and recent catalogue as we would be making huge bulk purchases from time to time. get back to us on our office desk email XXX or XXX immediately for further correspondence.

Have a wonderful day ahead
Purchasing Manager

Hello;
Firstly, i would like to introduce myself, my name is XXX, I am studying computer engineering in Yeditepe uni. I have been working on furniture importation at XXX for 11 months. We are supplying goods to companies such as; Evidea, Carrefour, Koctas, Hepsiburada, Kliksa,N11. I am a entrepreneur and i am trying to improve our company. Therefore, i am doing my job carefully and hoping the chance of getting your reference.I really want to work with you on decoration and furniture exportation .if you are interested in my converstation ,i would like to host you in Istanbul.im waiting for your mail,thank you so much.
Best regards

Hello
very  good day, very respectfully like to have at the end of the deal
between Guinea Bissau and Business  in different  country  aspects
business, commercial cars and other products.
I have possibility to send you the products you interested in Africa,
urgent need in this time of industrial fishing boats to charter and
coming to work in Guinea Bissau have an agency with all the complete
documentation, please procuress the maritime entrepreneurs who can
associate, or chartered.
I hope your answer with great pleasure and respect.

Hello madam monsieux

I am looking for an apartment for my parents who Veulle s installer in your baut pour Leure retirement pay
   2 bedrooms 1 living room 2 bathrooms 1 toillette
My buget and € 220,000
Wish I rather be the venire I am very Occupy
thank you to contact me for an appointment
I remerci you to avence

Hello,
I know that you are an agency that specialises in Boarding Schools. Could you please suggest me Boarding Schools in UK, Spain, Switzerland that you pay maximum 15.000 euros per year and has an IB program?
Thank you for your attention, and I hope you reply soon

Les pires emails en Français

demande de droit a l'emploi ou inscription, bonjour, madame, monsieur, j'ai l'honneur à contacté et expliques ms situation je suis étranger algérienne, j'ai toutes les accords pour adresser et fait vous étude a mon droits , accord de la conseil d’Europe de Bruxelles et commission européenne de Bruxelles par le président droit nationale a l'emploi ,accords de tribunal de travaille de Bruxelles droit nationale a l'aide sociale,ex,,,,j'ai 2 enfants bébé a mon charge et aucune emploi ou revenue a ma vie comment fait, et j'ai toutes les accords, al 'attends vous'aide dans les meilleurs délais, recevez mes sincère salutation

bonjour, je cherche à joindre PXXX BXXX

Bonjour, nous souhaitons faire venir de Dubaï à Abidjan des articles d'un poids total estimé 98-100 Kg par la poste.
Veuillez nous faire part de votre tarification en toute urgence s'il vous plait.
Cordialement.

Je souhaite avoir des partenaires au cuba notament sur la culture de cannes a sucre pour cela je sollicite une lettre d'invitation du 07 au 15 janvier 2015  de la part des partenaires mon nom issiaga barry numero psseport XXX
Cordialement

Bonjour ,

je suis actuellement en Nouvelle Calédonie en tant expat comme technicien maintenance support mon contrat fin 2015 ce terminant je suis à la recherche de nouveaux projet .

j'ai vu sur Linkedin que vous cherchiez des mécaniciens , je me permets donc de vous envoyé mon CV .

Dans l'attente d'une réponse.

Cordialement

Bonjour. Je cherche un travail au niveau de l'admiration j'ai une licence de développement de ressource humaine je maîtrise l'arabe et français
Si vous m'avez besoin je suis prête a tout moment
Merci bien

bonjour,

est ce que vous faire une assurance incendie et responsabilité civile pour un étudiant qui étudie à londres?? merci de me réponre

Peggiore e-mail in italiano

Salve, sapreste indicarmi offerte di lavoro a Shanghai. Ho già vissuto lì e mi piacerebbe ritornarci per lavoro.

MXXX

Salve io voglio numero de posta casa Blanca  ho mandato un  colie da italia marocci voglio sapere che punto siamo grazie

Con la presente si richiede preventivo per trasloco degli oggetti indicati di seguito da 14057 Berlino, Holtzendorffstrasse 9 (piano 3-con ampio marciapiede esterno e possibilità di installare montacarichi) a Londra, XXX (piano 2 con ascensore), da effettuare nel periodo che va da lunedì 21 settembre a venerdì 25 settembre corrente anno.
Oggetti:
bilancia    0,20    0,30    0,10                0,0060
box cacciavite    0,05    0,10    0,05                0,0003
asse stiro    0,20    1,10    0,15                0,0330
XXX...XXXX
mc.                2,6114
Si rimane in attesa di sollecito riscontro per poter procedere, in caso affermativo, alla definizione dei necessari dettagli.
INVIA: XXX, tel. XXX, mail: XXX

Peor de los e-mails en español

Hola , quisiera saber si ustedes hacen envió para EE.UU. una maquina para hacer tizada.
La empresa de ustedes están en Argentina? Me gustaría contactarme con ustedes para saber si podía realizar.

hola buenas tardes. me gustaría si me pudieran facilitar información sobre trabajo en hoteles en grecia. sería durante un mes de este verano. gracias un saludo

Hola
me mudo a chile a .  Vivo en suecia soy chileno y necesito llevar una bicicleta ,bateria elextrica mas platillos , 4 a5 cajas .
no es tanto y viajo por unos 8 a 10 meses .  Hacen la ruta y cuanto sale
Muchas gracias

hola quiero enviar unas cajas mudarme a espana y me gustaria saber  precios y demas condiciones  porque no tienen telefono ???!  Y si lo preguntan  ??? Muchas gracias.

Espero informacion pronto o un numero a donde llamar , gracias  Vilma

   



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