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Best-of EasyExpat.com 2013: the worst emails received

11 December, 2013 11:38  EasyExpat EasyExpat

Just before Christmas, and to finish this year, we are publishing for the 4th year the EasyExpat Best-off list for the funniest or most bizarre emails we have received in 2013.

We remind you that EasyExpat is a list of city guides for expatriates, host a public forum for the community and free services such as job listing, classifieds, general articles on expatriation (FAQ), directory of expat websites. Apparently some Internet users did not understand it!

Enjoy.

You will understand that the goal is not to mock but just to relax and take it easy during the festive season.

Of course, spelling mistakes were not corrected but names and personal details have been replaced by XXX, or deleted.

Worst emails in English

Hi,

My boss would like to lease a Nissan Altima 3.5 SL in Black with leather seats. He is in Atlanta, zip code is XXX. Please advise if you can provide the car with the below term. Thanks.

1. 24 Month lease
2. $300/month payment inclusive of DeKalb County taxes
3. $0 down at signing
4. Must be a 3.5 SL
5. Leather interior
6. Black color outside inside leather color doesn’t matter
7. Regular SL package for the rest of the features

Hello,

I'm interested in study an English course in Norway.

Please, could you send me information about:

- schools
- timetable
- level
- price

Thank you very much.

Hi .. I have a bit weird question for you. I am going to Amsterdam soon, and I would like to send at package about 100grams to a friend, for his birthday. Can I come to your office to buy stamps and a letter to put the gift in?
Hope you understand and will help me. Thanks

Dear Sirs,
In October 11, 2012 from Marseille   (Code Postal 1XXX) was sent a parcel on my address in Yerevan, Armenia. But up to now I did not receive it.
Number of Parcel is: CC 5XXXXX XXR.
I have checked in Armenian central post office and they told that the parcel does not enter to Armenia.Kindly ask you to help in finding my parcel or give me compensation of 1250 Euro.
Hoping in your assistance,
Kindest regards,
XXX

Sir I lived in Pakistan and I want to get admission in English Language Course. Please tell me what is
criteria?

Dear Sir or Madam!
In period 7.4.-7.6.2013 we urgently need 1 x appartement for 1 person. The location should be close to Lazarettenstrasse (we have a doctor arriving for seminars). Please be so kind and send us some offers.
Thank you in advance and best regards,

l like to get friends from your school

Hello, my name is John XXX. I have 32 years old. I'm from Romania. I want to apply for the position of driver or something else. I have full license driver qualification (BE, CE, DE).We are 4 members on my family. I'm a father of 2 lovely children, my boy Stephan have 4,6 years  old and my girl have Denise 6,5 years old. My wife's name is Viorica, and she has 28 years old. She wants to apply for the position of housekeeper and nanny also. We came in Portugal for working, but it is very difficult now. That's why we thought to write to you. Currently we don’t working, we looking for work. We want to know from the start, that we cannot afford to perform expenditure on transport and other necessary documents. If the host family wants to help us with transport and other necessary documents, then can make deduction from our first payment. We have the entire passport valid. If you give us the opportunity to work in a host family, we feel like the God take us in his arms. We want to work to provide a good life for our children. We will work for host family, as long as they need us. We are enabling to come with the whole family to the host family. We would like to be of great use to the host family. We want a normal guest family. We want our daughter to go to school in the fall, and our son to go to kindergarten. We are a family of Orthodox Christians.  We expect sincerity, trust and understanding.  How old are each member of your family? What can you tell us about your family? You can send us some pictures? If you have questions than do not hesitate to contact me by phone:  XXX or email: XXX . If you think or if you have another idea or opportunity so that we can work, and my family can be together, do not hesitate to contact us. Please help a family to have a better life.  God be with us all, John.

Hi ... my name is Andrea XXX .. I'm from Colombia...I live in Bogotá....I really want go to Paris, but i have no money...  im a girl very friendly and i love kids...  I want a job like a nanny.... if you need some ....i be here waiting for the opportunity....

Thank You!!

Dear Sir , Madam,
 l want to make reservation with your travel agency.
 Can you make reservation :
 
 Abidjan - Casablanca -Abidjan  ( Royal Air Maroc )
 Abidjan - Pristina - Abidjan ( Turkish Airlines )
 
 Do you accept payment by credit card visa or master card at distance?
 l am waiting your confirmation.
Mr XXX.

dear sir or miss plz help me

Re: Mrs. Carolina XXX ; Reference #YYXXX

This is the proof that you requested me to send to you regarding my pension/benefit that I was not able to receive last August 21, 2013

good evening, I am a young lives has oran algeria my name TOUNSI MOHAMED AMINE I have a problem I have to feel I have fracteure hip plusiere hospital in Europe but there is problem of money here in algeria is no load present I want to help with a hospital or medical assosation in australia   I have to wait your answer thank you jai expect help with assosation charity in australia  as my number 07XXX and my Adrees is XXX  oran algeria

Hello

I did receive special request from my clients
Please could you send to me availability and rates for this excursions with
Russian speaking guide
7 people

29.12 NASSAU, BAHAMAS – Island tour in Nassau
31.12 CHARLOTTE AMALIE, ST. THOMAS – Helicopter Tours &Private Island
Escape
01.01 PHILIPSBURG, ST. MAARTEN – Island Tour, Butterfly Famr and Orient
Beach

I've lost my national insurance number card, and I would like to reapply for one. I would like to understand if can get a copy or do I have to apply for a new one. Please I'll be waiting for prompt response from you. Thank you.
Faithfully

Could you please inform me when I will receive the package with the code number EI6XXXXXXUS because I have to be at home waiting for it.

hi madam|sir  i would like  to  apply in your  ofice as a  maid or  housekeeping job    i work  in singapore      for 2 years as a  maid    then hong kong    2 years  i am  honest person  hard working and  happy person  i  finished  2 years as a  midwife  i  undergo  for  training    in the  fields  and  hospitals  thanks

Les pires emails en Français

bonjour, je viens d'adhérer à votre association, j'aimerai me rendre active, et apporter ma pierre à l'édifice. n'hésitez pas à me joindre
06XXX
cordialement
XXX

Monsieur
Notre societe XXX ameublement déco sur marseille recherche un local commercial de 400 m2 sur tel aviv pour developper son activité de négoce
merci de nous faire des propositions par mail et de nous organiser des visites du 10 au 17 novembre 2013 où nous seront présents à TEL AVIV
A bientot

je   suis   serieux   jaime   une  femme  eauropeane   ou  australiene  pour  mariage   je  suis  serieux  fait  moi  confiance  stp  envoyer  moi  une  message  et  je  veux    voire  la  photo_ok
moi_aussi_ok
jai  un  compte  bancaire  une  somme  4.8milion_euros_je  souhaite   vivre  a  etrangaire   svp   merci_ok

salut, ça me fait un grand plaisir de vous contactez, je me nomme LYES AMARA j'ai 34ans je vous demande de bien vouloir un visa de séjour à Sydney Australie, contactez moi svp, lyes très cordialement

Bonjour,

Je souhaite m'installer à Istanbul.
Je souhaite vous envoyer mon CV.

Merci de me donner suite.

 Bonjour   Mr  Mmme

 JE SUIS A LA RECHERCHE D , EMPLOI a ISTANBUL ] POUR LE MOIS DE SEPTEMBRE ]  UNE PLACE DE GOUVERNANTE - D , HOTEL ]  CAISSIERE  - AUXILLIAIRE DE VIE - AIDE - SOIGNANTE  ou  EN GARDERIE - OU HALTE GARDERIE ] AVEC MES EXPERIENCES DANS TOUTE SES DEMANDENT ] LANGUE  FRANCAIS  _ UN PEUX L, ANGLAIS ]  MERCI DE ME CONTACTER

bonjour monsieurs jai une demande a vous faire pourriez vous menvoyer par fax ou dans ma boite mail une copie du decdret qui a etait signer par votre president et celui de france m hollande pour toute personne francaise quils veulent venir en france doivent avoir une somme dargent merci a vous cest tres important pour moi

Bonjour,juste avoir les formation concernant le benévoles ,formations professionnels et stages de perfectionnement ,car besion de travailler et participer de cette experiences.
Bonne Journée

bonjour , je m'appelle XXX et je suis a la recherche d'un emploi ou d'une
formation en allemagne , j'aimerais vivre et travailler a Munich , je parle allemand car
j'ai effectué des séjours au pair . j'attend votre réponse avec impatience , bonne journée

salem alikoum je suis a la recherche de travail a dubai appel moi svp sur 06XXXX je vie en france

Bonjour,

Nous sommes une société de décor et cherchons un transporteur pour livrer un décor chez Harrod's Londres pour le 9 mars 2013.
Enlèvement de Montfermeil (93370),il nous faut un véhicule de 18m3.
Avez vous la possibilité et quelles sont vos conditions.

Cordialement,

Peggiore e-mail in italiano

buongiorno ,avrei bisogno di alcune informazioni relative alle agenzie immobiliari di amburgo,in quanto fra un mese dovrò trasferirmi da roma.potete aiutarmi??'grazie

Buon giorno a tutti sono camerunese e mi chiamo Michele in attesa di lavoro qui in Camerun vorrebbe tanto essere il vostro riferente qui in Camerun se vi va aspetto una vostra risposta. Cordiali saluti

AIUTO....!!!! io mia figlia e la mia compagna vorremmo trasferirci a montreal...chi ci può aiutare...!!!!

Salve, io e il mio ragazzo siamo a Dublino da una settimana vorremmo studiare e fare dei piccoli lavoretti per poter pagare la scuola e l'ostello potete aiutarci? grazie mille... ciao

Buongiorno' non so se e' l'ufficio giusto per fare questa domanda.
Io ho spedito un pacco dall' italia contenenti delle t-shirt per una societa di rugby di San Miguel de Tucuman, e da una ricerca su internet del pacco risulterebbe giacente presso la dogana in Argentina non e' specificato il motivo del fermo.
Il pacco e' stato spedita dall' itala il 19/07/2013 ed e' arrivato in Argentina il 05/08/2013  il codice del pacco e':

EXXXXXT
Sperando di risolvere l'arcano ringrazio anticipatamente.

Saluti

Peor de los e-mailsen español

SENORES ME GUSTARIA TENER LA DIRECCION, LOS CONTACTOS DEL SOCIAL SERVICES Y LA POLICIA EN EL CANTON GLARUS. ALGUNA AYUDA POR FAVOR?

les agradeceria que me tuvieran en cuenta para los trabajos relacionados con el cuidado de niños o personas mayores como tambien la limpieza. tengo titulo homologado de maestra de educacion infantil

Worst-Mails in Deutsch

Wie kann ich in Ihrer Community meine Hilfe beim Umtausch der ausländischen Führerausweise anbieten? Ich bin zertifizierte und erfahrene Fahrlehrerin und unterrichte in Englisch, Französisch un Deutsch (Theorie und Praxis) auf automatischem oder manuellem Getriebe. Standort Zürich

   



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         EasyExpat on

A little scary [Reply]

Not sure why but I find those email rather sad. Makes me want to write back and guide them in the correct direction. You can practically feel the desperation in these emails. Unless it's a ploy to get your/our sympathy? Well, it worked on me, I would be awful in a position with the power to help these people

Stephen Clarke     12 Dec 2013, 22:43

No worries, we try to help [Reply]

When you fill our contact form you receive an automatic response directing you to many useful places such as Forums, Classifieds, Guides etc where you can find help.

We hope that those who posted originally those requests will then understand their mistake. They can always contact us again if not.

However sometime the "AUTO-Response" email get a message back saying "thank you for your very quick response"... hmmm what to say...

Cyril     17 Dec 2013, 19:22